Five Years Later: Surviving, Loving, Flowing^^

Dear blog,

It has been such a long, long time since I last came here. The last post I published was back in 2020, and now, as we approach the end of 2025, here I am again. And thanks for being with me.

So much has happened in my life in the past five years. The only achievement I feel I’ve made in these past five years is that I am surviving, and I am moving with the flow of life, sometimes with ease, sometimes with struggle, but always with love.

Since I got married to my husband, I thought that I was sharing my dukh and sukh(my sorrows and joys),  with him.  That's the reason why I ignored this small space. But today, my heart ached in a way I wasn’t prepared for. My cousin sister had been staying with us for almost a month, and during that time, my little girl became so deeply attached to her. Yesterday, when she left, my baby cried her heart out. Watching her cry broke me from within.

As I held my baby, I couldn’t help but think, what if I had a sister of my own? Growing up, I was the only girl in my family. I was given the privilege, shored with love, and I also carried the responsibilities of a daughter from a very young age. I envy the photos of beautiful sisters together because I never knew the bond of sisters. Today, I find myself wondering: if I had one, would she be here by my side? Would she love my baby the way my cousin did? Would my daughter have that special aunty sister bond every day?

My heart aches because I don’t have the answer. But I do know this, sometimes life gives us chosen sisters, not by birth but by bond. My cousin reminded me of that.

And my baby, who is just 10 days away from her 5th birthday. As you always say, "You are my best mommy in the world", so you are darling. You are strong and fierce, shy yet confident, and you have a heart that feels deeply, and that's the greatest gift you own. At this juncture, you love drawing, whereby your behaviour aligns with your daddy, who is slow but has perfection at the end. However, you hate eating (something that worries me every single day).

You are growing so fast, and though moments like today bring pain, they also remind me how much love your little heart can hold.

In her small world, Kuromi is the biggest joy.

This blog is mommy's diary, so that someday, when you read it, you’ll know how much you mean to me, how much I notice about you, and how deeply I love you.

Xoxo,

Mama <3

 

I am back

Hello... I'm back!

Finally, the time has come to make a blogging comeback. I can't believe it has already been four long years since my last blog entry. So much has changed in my life. On a lighter note, I'll make a quick recap of how my life has been in last four years. Don't worry I'll be publishing detailed entries later.

Photo taken a year ago.

Hi blogsphere friends, how are you all doing? I wish you guys are still around and to my new readers welcome to my small space.

Many hugs,

Rupa.

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Raegan, Our Bright Light in a Dark Year

Dearest baby bear Raegan, 

You’re finally here 《01■10■2020》 Your recent arrival is some of the best news we’ve had in 2020! Before you even entered the world, you were loved, cherished, and wanted. Now that I can hold you in my arms, those feelings have multiplied tenfold. My baby, you were born in one of the most unusual times of my generation – in the midst of a global pandemic. The world and our country is grappling with some major issues right now, which will form the backdrop of your life’s story. 2020 isn’t over yet, and it’s been a year for the history books already. I guarantee that the inharmonious notes of our world will rearrange into a harmonious melody soon. But I just don’t know when that is going to happen. What I do know is that you, my baby, will grow and that you will change. My sincerest wish for you is: ~to love well and to live fully. ~to be kind and humble. -Being strong is great but being humble is the greatest... ~to have loads of passion and determinations. ~to bloom from the heart. Millions may remember 2020 as the year of hardship as the coronavirus pandemic brought a tidal wave of hardship. However, our family will remember this year as the beginning of something new – the new life we’ve found in you. I pray that this global backdrop will frame your life with perspective. You are actually our perfect gift from God. I am so excited to see you grow. Right now you're so innocent and soft. You are our baby girl. You're going to be my best friend. I already know we will share so many wonderful memories and adventures together. I will love and honor you for whatever your passions are in life.

Xoxo Mama

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Why I haven't been blogging^^

Happy Valentine's Day :)

I'm back after a long blog break!  Last year was quite a roller coaster ride for me with ups and downs, heath deteriorating but I am still on my feet and all is well.  God is Kind and loved ones are beautiful…

I've been missing blogging so much but for several reasons, just can't seem to get started back regularly.

I've decided to list those reasons and do what I need to do to get past them and back to blogging, because I miss my blogging friends so much!

Reasons for not blogging regularly:

• extremely slow internet service.
• takes too long to find the "perfect" photos for my posts
• feel like my mundane life is too boring for anyone who really want to read about,
• lastly; guilt because I don't get around to visiting everyone else's blog that visits mine

There is a joy in living. Life's a blessing <3 

So, here's the plan:

1. open only one browser window at a time (when possible) while making my posts
2. forget about perfectionism, it stagnates creativity in too many areas of my life
3. go back to my original purpose for blogging; more of a diary for me that I enjoy sharing with others
4. return blog visits when I can, but leave a reply in my blog's comment section when someone honors me with a comment

I truly think I can get back to blogging if I stick to this plan.

I'm printing it out right now so that I won't forget and slip back into my perfectionism.

 So, I hope to be back with postings of my little life....

Thanks for reading my ramblings.  I hope you'll come back often!

Ps: Thanks a lot la Ata Kinzz, Ata Kinley and Charo Dechen Sangmu <3)… for feeling my absence… 3 of you are my beautiful people that I always count on… Much Love <3

Hello December II

Happy Thursday friends!

Are you weary of the cold?

Are you wishing for spring?

Maybe you are dreaming of a summer's day by the water?

Or would you be happy to just rewind to a

utumn?

(I'm okay with spring and autumn, but seriously, let's keep summer away as long as possible)

Let's do a bit of

Daydreaming hehe...

 I don’t mind carrying my needles and thread with me where ever I go :)

Hello December! Chill is at our doorstep! We need more and more layers. With arrival of chill day, my needles are also flying.  I wish I could figure out how to read and knit at the same time ewww... but then watching TV and knitting can be done  J hmmmm... I'll knit on that and get back with you.

By the way, do you knit?  Crochet?  Enjoy handwork?  Or, are you the person sitting across the room who is hypnotized while watching someone else's hands work needles with yarn in, out and around?

 I think most knitters have a story to tell.   It may be a story of celebration, frustration, loss, healing or centering.  We each have a reason for picking up the needles.   The rhythm of needles moving in and out calms me, slows down my thoughts allowing me to think more clearly and problem solve.  This is my own knitting story. I don’t mind carrying my needles and thread with me where ever I go.

I hope you have had a grand week.  I have been spending a lot of time at school... at least it feels like it.  This is a busy time of the year, as major holiday is on my way, I can erase busyness with desire. It is all good and a lot fun, though I am happy to have the afternoon off today hehe.

Fighting against winter :) by keeping warm :)

You know, during my off hours I was catching up with my favorite blogs and one of the writer had mentioned needing fresh inspiration.  It hit hard on my head.  I've posted a few times of my own struggles with my writing.  Needing "fresh inspiration"  put a face on my own endeavor to put something of substance worth sharing here on my pages.

 Today while searching for something I thought I had posted, I found myself reading back through several months of posts.   As I read, I remembered the joy I found in writing, and hearing back from you.   As I revisited many of your comments I realized how much I learned through your kind and wise words.  Sometimes one must go back to go forward.

Though I continue to seek that "fresh inspiration", I still feel this is a very happy place to be.   And, you are the one who make it so.

I am thanking each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. Your love, incredibly kind words, and genuine support towards my blaba post made my heart absolutely burst with happiness. Thank you thank you THANK YOU! J

If it is frigid where you are this weekend,

please stay safe and warm.

Sending you wishes for the best week-end ever!